Your Future Russian Wife – A Before and After Look

You have met this wonderful woman and have decided that she is the “one”. You ask her to marry you, which, thank goodness, she agrees and you begin the process of bring her to your country.
Most likely, once she is with you and begins to venture out, this is what she will experience and you will witness:

1. If she knows how to drive a car and perhaps had a Russian driver license, upon beginning to drive in your country she will feel awkward and nervous. Every time she gets behind the wheel and sees a police car, she will become very agitated. It will take about 2 years to forget the unpleasant experiences she may have had with the corrupted Russian police officers, who can and do stop you anytime, without any reason.

2. For the first few months she will drive only on the local roads and surface streets thinking that she could never be brave enough to drive on a freeway or expressway.

3. After arriving and getting settled in, she will be afraid to answer the phone because of her limited communication skills. After five or six months, she will find answering the phone adventuresome and will use incoming calls from telemarketers as free training for her new language skills. Phone solicitors will be piss off!

Russian Before

4. More than likely she won’t know what a sweet potato or yam is, nor what they taste like.

5. She, probably, will not like peanut butter.

6. She will look in the local stores for what she considers staples, such as “seledka” (Herring made in a special “russian way,”) “Tvorog” (a cottage cheese made in a special “russian”way) and other Russian food stuffs, but never find most of them. This will make her very eager to find any Russian stores in your area.

7. She will hate all the breads sold in the local grocery stores and most of the bakeries and will complain about how much she misses the baked goods that she could buy in Russia.

8. She will pay close attention to putting on her makeup, and wear a very nice dress and high heel shoes just to go to the grocery store.

9. She will spend a great deal of time and effort trying to find other Russians in her local area with whom to communicate with. She will use the Internet a great deal to help her find these local Russians.

10. At first she will feel more like a tourist than a resident and often times take a camera with her. She will send photos to her friends and relatives almost every month whether they ask her or not.

11. Because of her lack of English skills, she becomes bored when you are watching your favorite television show and you have to continually ask her not to disturb you while the show is on.

What the Future Holds

Ok, lets fast forward three to four years down the line and see how life has changed for your future Russian wife:

Rusian Wife After

1. A police car is now just another car on the road for her.

2. She drives anywhere she wants to and doesn’t remember any of her phobias about the freeways and expressways.

3. She will speak fluently on the telephone with her American speaking friends and learns to respond to all telemarketers with “Thank you, I am not interested”

4. She learns how to prepare nice dishes from sweet potatoes and yams.

5. Most likely she still won’t like peanut butter.

6. She will stop looking for Russian stores to visit.

7. She may tolerate the locally made breads but more than likely won’t…. and will stop eating bread altogether.

8.When she goes to the grocery store, she most likely is wearing a pair of jeans, a tee shirt and tennis shoes.

9. She begins to loose contact with most of the Russian friends that she found during her first year in your country.
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10. She doesn’t feel herself as a tourist anymore and become so complacent about her surroundings that she doesn’t think to send photos to her Russian friends even when they request them .

11. She has HER favorite TV shows and asks you don’t disturb her when she is watching television.

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