When people plan to marry, they expect to find in their partner not only a lover but a friend also. A person with whom they can share their opinions, their emotions, thoughts and fears. In marriage we are looking for a partner who will be able to understand our values, our likes and dislikes.
Cultural Differences
If a man and a woman are born and raised in the same country, most likely they are familiar with the same songs, movies, jokes, books and life in general. They basically have the same roots. In the case of a western man -foreign woman family everything is more complicated and requires much more patience and understanding from both spouses.
On one hand each of the partners has an opportunity to learn a great deal about the other’s country, culture, traditions and life styles which can be very interesting. On the other hand, the inability to understand your partner’s excitements or frustrations can be very disappointing.
For example, say you are watching the television and suddenly you see a famous actor or singer, or other type of an artist whose name you have grown up with. Maybe this artist was an idol for your parents and the music of this artist was often played in your house when you were a child.
Now seeing this singer on television reminded you about your parents and the house where you grew up in. You nostalgically remembered the tree that you saw from your window. You feel very light headed about this memory and want to share this feeling with your foreign wife.
Unfortunately you realize that she is unable to understand your feelings because she has no idea who this artist is!
Her eyes are absolutely empty, she has never even heard the song before.
You cannot believe it! You tell her that this artist is so famous! Everyone knows him! How it possible that she doesn’t know???
Your light feelings of nostalgic disappear and instead you feel within your soul at very large disappointment …
Be patient! Don’t become upset so quickly. Remember that your wife has the same situation with you. You don t know her country’s songs, her country’s famous actors, her books. She has her own memories and in actuality, for her, everything is much more difficult than it is for you.
At least, you live in your own country where everybody can understand you. She lives in completely strange surroundings, where she has nobody to share her feelings with, except you.
Do some research and learn about your wife’s country, culture and lifestyles. Talk with her, ask her questions, get to know what songs she likes, what movies and books are of interest to her.
The Internet will give you a great opportunity to find anything!
Tell her about your country’s culture, let her listen to the music that you like, rent a movie for her that left you with great impression. Let her understand you better through the things that you like.
Patience and time will help you to fight cultural differences.
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I can only speak to one example, but I have a friend who went to Russia (Siberia specifically) to meet a woman he found through an online relationship site. He eventually brought her back to the US and they married in less than a year. 8 years later (now) they have two beautiful kids and a happy marriage. The whole thing surprised the crap out of me – I swore he was going to get killed when he was in Russia. But I was wrong… it worked out well in the end, Green Card and all.
With that said, I’m sure this is the exception more than the rule… but still… it can work.
I think it takes a lot of patience, mutual attraction, and genuine interest in each other’s languages and cultures to make it work.
I recently met a Ukrainian woman who has been in the U.S. for one year. She speaks a little english and we keep an electronic translator and two Russian/English dictionaries handy at all times. I can tell you guys that there will be miss understandings on the meaning of what you said or she said, so you must have an open mind and clarify exactly what she is trying to tell you. Dont assume anything! Keep things simple and talk slowly. Also, facial expressions and body language will be different than with American women.Be ready to understand that. It takes some getting used to.
If you treat a Russian woman right,show her you care and that she is special she will give you all her heart and love. She will be totally committed to you. They’re so much better than American women it’s not even funny!
My husband (american) found me the same way on the relationship site. We are together 4 years since then and had 2 beautiful girls. Except we live in my country and he suffers from not speaking russian. Its really hard on him to be here but there is some circumstances. My point is it is not an exception. I know allot of people with a happy ending. if there is love and patience we can work anything out!
Hi Folks,
Greetings from Russia!
To Vsyny:
I was surprised very much to learn that your friend — an American who dared to travel even to Siberia (unbelievable!!!) — was not eaten by a regular street Russian bear.
In case if you are not kidding, I would like to ask you a question: What kind of “bear-repellent” did your friend use, if any?
Or perhaps, by lucky chance, he appeared to be simply uneatable for the voracious Russian Bears?
As is widely known, Russia is rife with wild bears.
Eh?
I was so stunned when having stumbled upon your comment, Vsyny, that I dropped my vodka bottle and startled my pet bear.
Cheers!
Michael
Michael,
I stumbled across this response while poking around on the internet. I just wanted to tell you how hilarious it was! You have a magnificent sense of humor!
I wanted to assure you that not all Americans are as closed-minded as the writer of the original message you read. Your response to it was very warming.
Alan (also from the U.S.)
PS: I laughed so hard I spilled hot coffee all over the bald eagle that was sitting next to me…
)
It is so very refreshing to hear positive comments about western men and slovenic(Russian and Ukranian and Belarusian) wemon! It seems there are so many arrogant pecimists out there that just love to slander these wemon! Some of the comments are so outrageously appauling it is unreal! To me, those are the guys, from their own comments, sounds like all they wanted was a beautiful younger woman for a maid and a sex toy! To all of you gentalmen and ladies who have found true love and happiness, I tip my hat to you! It sounds like you are the men that know how to treat a ladie RIGHT! When real men do that, their ladies treat them right also! We are all just men and wemon, no matter where we are from or the cultural differences. If we love each other, then that is all that has to be said!